If I Didn't Tell Her
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: CB AU. She sees something she never should have "'Yes.' His voice was gravelly and deep and she had never heard it that way before. She had heard the rumors and she knew the stories. But never like this. She had never experienced him like this


**A/N**: Not a very originally story, but I just had to write it. It was inspired by my viewing of Fish Tank, my new favorite movie. For the record, yes, this is AU. But I don't think I made it very clear.

**Summary**: "Yes." His voice was gravelly and deep and she had never heard it that way before. She had heard the rumors and she knew the stories. But never like this. She had never experienced him like this.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. Characters belong to Gossip Girl as well as me newly instated inspiration thanks to the wonderful internet. Keeping the love alive. As always, beta comewhaymay.x keeps me from making embarassing mistakes.

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><p><em>Pant. Gasp.<em>

"Are you alright?" Serena's light eyes questioned her and Blair felt her rapidly beating heart accelerate even more.

"Fine."

_"Yes." His voice was gravelly and deep and she had never heard it that way before. She had heard the rumors and she knew the stories. But never like this. She had never experienced him like this._

"Have you seen Chuck?"

"What?" Blair asked quickly. Serena was eying her suspiciously again. For some reason, Blair felt as though she had done something wrong. She could feel the perspiration and her quickening breath, but she didn't know why she was the embarrassed one.

_Blair could practically feel his groans-_

_Even through the thick door. She hadn't planned on this. She had never even truly thought of him in that way._

_She was sure of it. But suddenly, Blair was wondering who he was with and why that girl was better than her._

"Chuck," Serena repeated.

"Why are you asking me?" She cringed at her own words. It wasn't an answer. It was worse than a denial.

"It was just a question."

She knew Serena would stop asking. Blair still didn't know why she felt so guilty.

_Blair didn't know why or what she was doing, especially when it was very clear that he was preoccupied. But still, she found the door slightly ajar. And still, she couldn't help herself._

_She didn't know why._

_The hinge creaked and burning eyes flicked up to hers in an instant._

"Are you alright?"

Blair hated all the questions. She hated the accusations and she hated the looks. She knew what paranoia was and she didn't know why she felt it so penetratingly.

Like dark eyes behind a secretive door.

"I think I'm going to be ill."

Blair didn't know where it came from but she felt herself bending over the sink, Serena holding back her hair.

"What happened?"

But it wasn't Serena's voice. Blair felt her hair flow over her shoulders again as Serena stepped away from her.

"Blair's just feeling a little under the weather," Serena replied uncertainly.

"I'll bet."

She hated how he talked to her now.

.

Chuck Bass stared. It was something he had always done, something he could never stop doing. Even when she had been attached to his best friend all those years ago. She had always been beautiful. It taunted him like something he couldn't name, but it was always there.

So he stared.

"You didn't used to be so skittish around me."

"You didn't used to be so perverted."

"Yes, I was."

She was still beautiful. But it seemed that she was just floating away from him and he didn't like how that felt. He thought that they would be different. He wasn't like any of her minions and he wasn't her frenemy.

They had always been different.

They were the same and they were different and he knew that no matter how many of his so-called friends would fade away, she would always remain.

She was pulling away.

But he hadn't done anything wrong.

Though he knew exactly what he did.

He just didn't know where it came from. He didn't know why they shared furtive glances. He didn't know why he studied every facial muscle twitch to decode her thoughts.

He didn't know why she opened that door. She just looked and he just kept going and by the time he reached the kitchen, she was in a different place. He almost went to hold her hair back, but he knew that was what her best friend was for.

He didn't even know what he was anymore.

She would sit across from him, legs crossed, neck exposed, and she would have no idea what she was doing to him. He didn't even know what she was doing to him.

He didn't understand any of it.

"Out with Hunter again?"

Blair sat down, only half aware of Serena's question as she was of Chuck's eyes.

"You were on a date." It wasn't a question but Blair knew he expected her to answer it like one.

"Don't sound so surprised," Blair told him.

"I'm impressed he came all the way out here," Serena intejected. "You know you only do that for one thing."

Serena's smile was suggestive.

"Please," Blair said sarcastically, "educate me."

Serena laughed. As much as Blair was good at not acknowledging awkward situations, it was clear how uncomfortable it was that Chuck was there.

"Well, I'm not surprised at all," Blair said distinctly. "It's no secret how good I am."

Chuck's eyes burned into the side of her face.

.

She was drunk. Maybe. Or maybe the foyer had always been curved.

And maybe Chuck had always been sitting on that couch. She tripped gracefully to lean against the doorframe, watching him tip his flask back.

"You're back late."

"There was a party on the beach."

Chuck looked up.

"I had to take the long route home to avoid drunken co-eds."

"Looks like you took a page from their book along the way."

"So did you."

Chuck looked down at what was in his hand.

"Only always."

"No desperate whores tonight?" Blair asked lightly, sliding out of her shoes. She was only vaguely aware of how Chuck's eyes followed her legs.

"Disappointed?" Chuck asked. "I know how you like to watch."

The silence between them was heavy with implications.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Blair finally replied lightly. Her bare feet traveled across the carpet. He liked watching her hips.

"No," he finally said. "I guess not."

"You're down here late."

"I wanted to be alone."

"Nate's coming back from UCLA soon," she said.

"Forgive me if I don't display enthusiasm."

"You don't miss him?"

"I don't miss people."

"I just figured it would be better than hanging around your sister and her best friend the entire time," Blair replied.

"I'm still deliberating," he said softly. He took another drink. "I needed time to think."

"About what?"

"Just..." His eyes finally met hers and she wondered if this was what everyone saw. Or if this was just what she saw. "What do you think would have happened if you went to the opening of _Victrola _that night?"

"You mean in high school?" she asked.

As though she didn't actually think about it all the time the way he did.

"Things were still awkward with Nate after we destructed." She was tiptoeing closer to him. He stared. "Did you want something to happen?"

"I don't know what I wanted."

Closer.

"I think you wanted me to dance."

His eyes never strayed from her face.

"That was the whole reason, wasn't it?" Blair asked. "You wanted to see me dance."

"I wouldn't have been opposed to it," he drawled casually. It was something she hated about him.

The way he conveyed apathy about everything that came out of his mouth.

She loved it about him.

"Would you be opposed to it now?" she asked. "I could make it up to you."

"I won't stop you."

"You're always so convicted," Blair said. "Determined not to give up anything."

She wasn't backing away. She plied the flask from his fingers for a drink.

"Liquid courage?"

"Maybe I'm showing you the real me," she said. Her shoulders rolled and her hips swayed.

He always loved watching her hips.

She shrugged out of the wrap around her shoulders. Her skin was slightly freckled from the sun. Her silky dress clung to her as she moved and he wondered where the sudden music came from. But she was moving and he had to admit that he had never seen moves like hers.

"Was that satisfactory?"

He was staring.

"I don't have experience like your professional dancers."

"You have moves."

She placed her hand on his shoulder, pressing the flask back into his with the other.

"I hope that was alright."

"Sit down."

His hands were on her hips and despite the extra room, she found herself easing onto his lap. His legs parted and she found herself sliding between them. She heard the clink of him putting the flask on the table.

And she felt him. He was hard against her back. But she leaned back against his chest, letting him pull her hair to one side. She tilted her head to look up at him.

She had to wonder if this was strange. She had never been this way with him before. She had never been this way with anyone. He was looking down upon her with eyes of liquid fire and she had never felt more comfortable.

Their faces were leaning naturally towards each other. She knew what was coming, but even as their lips met, she felt her body jolt alive.

He pulled away, as though asking for permission. But she knew how long they had both been waiting. And soon his hand was in her hair, leaning her back against the couch, both of them gasping for breath.

He eased himself between her legs, pushing up her skirt as she drew her knees up.

It was natural.

It was right.

He was moving and his breath was hot in her ear. She had heard him moan before.

If only once.

But she had never heard him whisper.

"I bet this doesn't feel like that boy of yours," he murmured hotly into her ear. He was undulating and she was feeling.

It was all she could muster.

"No."

It came out like a moan.

"Chuck."

He stared into her eyes.

"I didn't..."

"I know. Even if you did, I don't care. I don't care who you've been with. I saw your eyes," he groaned. "You opened that door and I knew I was done waiting."

Her nails dug into his shoulders.

"All I see is you."

"You made me break for you," she said desperately.

It was getting hard to talk. She had never tried before.

"I think I've always loved you," he husked into hear ear.

"I realized I do."

She was out of breath. He was on her and he was hot and she had never felt this complete.

"I would have danced for you," she whispered.

And they were electrified in blinding completion.


End file.
